Five thousand four hundred and eightynine
by AirborneGirl
Summary: While packing to move to San Diego, Mac makes a drastic decision.
1. Chapter 1

**AN:** Just some random thoughts that turned into a story (the way I usually write). Enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: hands off, they're mine, MINE! Yeah...that's convincing...sigh...I wish...

**Spoilers**: Set during "Farewell and Following Seas"

**Five thousand four hundred and eighty nine **

It anybody would ask me why, I wouldn't be able to tell for sure, but it was the first thing I looked up the moment I finally found myself alone in my office. Alone after the General dropped the bomb on us. 5489 miles will soon separate me from the man I have loved for nine years. Years filled with missed opportunities, misread signals and dreams that would never come true.

Now, at the apartment I once referred to as 'warm', I'm packing the memories of all those years carefully away in boxes. The fact that at least I'm doing some physical work is the only thing that keeps me going. I know that as soon as I sit down, my mind will start playing tricks on me again. If I'm supposed to get a fresh start with this new job, I can't allow myself to daydream. All the 'what ifs' have never done me any good.

Still, I can't order my own brain around the way I do with other people at JAG, but instead of raking up the past, I find myself thinking of the future. A future without Harm.

I can predict with eerie precision what will happen. We'll have a farewell party, with maybe one more 'meaningful conversation', one more glance back, one lingering kiss goodbye…before we get on board of two separate planes.

For the next few days, we'll both be busy settling in. Our new homes and new jobs will swamp us. But as soon as computers will start working and phone lines will have been connected, we'll resume contact on a regular basis. Our messages will be friendly, maybe even flirtatious, laced with innuendo and possibly regret.

Sooner rather than later though, our new lives will become routine and we'll be kept busy. Any contact between us will be hurried, which will make it impossible to be close and personal. So instead of feelings, we'll be discussing cases, until everything we ever meant to each other will deteriorate and we'll sound like nothing more than JAG lawyers who just happen to be ex-coworkers and best friends, way back when…

When that unavoidably happens, even though I'll fight my hardest to delay the moment, I'll stop calling him. I'll satisfy myself with less than frequent e-mails, which at least I can randomly delete if the contents don't appeal to me. The e-mails will stop too eventually as I can't get myself to answer.

Then, years from now, at a vulnerable moment, I can't resist my craving to hear his voice. So, excuse ready in case I need one, I dial his number with awkwardly shaking hands. To my horror, a woman's voice will answer the phone and before I can make myself believe I just dialed the wrong number, she'll call him and he'll take over the phone.

He'll tell me al about her, sounding way too excited. I fight back tears (I'm a Marine and Marines don't cry!) while he drones on about her. Oblivious (hopefully) to my distress, he'll mention her name, the way she looks, where they met, etcetera. And how happy he is. As the friend I once was to him, I'll congratulate him, hoping he won't hear the pain in my voice.

And that'll be the end of it.

Maybe scuttlebutt (through Harriet and Bud, two people I could never say goodbye to) will keep me posted about him: his promotions, his appointments, his family. All the things he should be sharing with me. If only we hadn't let our careers, other people, basically life, come between us.

I stop in the middle of my half-wrapped kitchen utensils, surprised by my own line of thoughts, and even more by the conclusion. I won't let it happen. If I have to leave Washington D.C., so be it, but I won't be going anywhere without him. Not any more. Quickly, I grab my car keys and head out. San Diego, London, they can wait. Right now I have some other place I need to go to. Before I am five thousand four hundred and eighty-nine miles too late…

THE END

Now be sweet and push the Review button. Please?


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: **This was supposed to be a one-parter, but with so many reviews (thank, thank you, thank you) asking for asequal, who could resist? I couldn't. So, for you to enjoy...Chapet II in Harm's pov.

By the way: some of you gave me a lot of things to consider while writing this new chapter. I hope you can all relate to the way I decided to pick the story up.

**Five thousand four hundred and eighty nine**

Chapter II: Harm's POV

I hate packing. Not even the reason I'm packing can make this bearable; I simply despise packing. Maybe it's because now that I'm about to make a huge career-move, and it forces me to look at all the stuff I've gathered in my life, I suddenly see the surroundings more clearly. And I don't like what I see.

I see a man whose whole life has culminated nothing but his career moves. At the age of forty-two, there's little else to be proud of. Except for my soon to be official daughter, fighting with every bit of willpower she has to make a full recovery, I have nothing resembling a private life. If I can make a positive difference in Mattie's future, than at least Harm Rabb will have done something in his life that didn't just benefit him.

Other than Mattie, I have accomplished nothing though. Because not the bars, not the wings, not the rank should make me the man I am. And yet, it's all I have. With nobody to blame but me. I mean, I know my night vision was restored, but I still can't seem to see what's right in front of me. When it comes down to her, I'm still moving in the dark.

Five thousand four hundred and eighty nine miles. For one small moment, a fraction of a second, I found myself smiling when Mac named the exact distance between the two cities that will soon be separating us. Just like her to know something like that to the detail.

So I smiled, until reality once again sank in. Tomorrow, that number will no longer be just an abstract number, but grave reality. I'll be in London, she'll be in San Diego. Both beautiful cities, where we'll be building ourselves a new home with new social networks around us. Where our new jobs will challenge us and keep us occupied to the max. It'll be exhilarating, especially since we need to prove our value among new faces and high expectations. We'll both live up to them, I'm certain about that. But the high of a new job, no matter how successful you are, can quickly subside if you have nobody to share it with. Even if I have Mattie. Mac doesn't have anyone.

Will she be lonely? Will she want to keep in touch, even if it's just to let me know how she's managing, to give me a small glimpse of her life? Putting me at the sidelines looking in once again, but I'll settle for it if that's all she's willing or able to give.

Or will she find someone? There's no denying she's not just a fine Marine; she's a marvelous woman too. I'm sure I'm not the only male specimen who'll recognize her beauty, her wit, her charm…you know…the whole package. She should have no trouble whatsoever on the wedding market. One can only hope the man of her choice will be worthy of her; she has yet to find the one guy that could fit that bill, if you ask me. But the thought that one day she might makes me sick. Call me a Neanderthal, but I don't want her to find him at all. Not when she and I both know she ought to be mine.

Reality check nr….whatever. When it comes to her and my conscience, I've lost count years ago. Years in which I always come up with just one conclusion. I want Sarah MacKenzie to be mine. I want it all. They can make me Admiral tomorrow, I could run for president next week, but whatever my career can give me, no matter how many bars they can put on my shoulders; it just won't mean anything if she's not there to support me, to elate me and to keep me grounded. With Mac around, I can have the best of all worlds; my feet firmly on the ground, my head in the clouds.

I know suddenly with shocking finality that I might have run out of time. That we have issues to address and that I have to make it happen fast. There's no more time to be dancing around the subject, no more time to be waiting until she thinks she's ready.

Someone's here. Before I turn to acknowledge the distinct presence of the person at the door, I know who it is. Now let me just keep my fingers crossed that her heart's not set on a definite goodbye, that's she's ready to accept all I'm offering, meaning all of me. Cause I've just made up my mind: We're not going anywhere before we've worked it out somehow. Neither do I care where we end up. London sounds terrific, but if the calculation London minus five thousand four hundred eighty nine miles equals Sarah, then I know what to do (I've done it before), promotion be damned!

_So...what do you think? More to come? You decide. Flip a coin if you have to..._


	3. Chapter 3

**Five thousand four hundred and eighty nine**

**AN**: The ruling seems to be in favor of continuance of this story, so I'm happy to oblidge. Thanks to all of you who have posted a review. Hope you enjoy this chapter again!

_Chapter III: Mac's POV_

And so I find myself back in my apartment, but not for long. I'm only here to get dressed into something suitable for a small party at McMurphy's. Where Harm and I will openly declare our love for each other and our intention to get married.

Yes, I did get what I came for when I recklessly headed out to his apartment, ready to throw caution to the wind and take what I need. Him. And he gave willingly, we both did. We talked, we kissed, he proposed, (HARM PROPOSED!) we kissed some more…I got what I came for and then some.

Maybe except for one thing. As Harm clearly pointed out, neither of us was very keen on ending our career before retirement. Well, that's what we told the other, anyway, both knowing at the same time, that it's not entirely true. Frankly, I think it might bemore of the other way around. Neither of us want to give up, but we are also reluctant to force the other one to have to be the one to let go.

See, I know Harm. I know that he's willing to strip off his uniform (nice mental picture, by the way) just to be with me, he did it before, when I was too blind to see what he was offering. But I'm not sure I want that from him. It's too much of a sacrifice. His career, minus the dents here and there (who caused most of those, Mac?) is practically flawless whereas mine is more often than not just based upon my superior's goodwill, Cresswell's included.

Not to mention; if Harm gives up his commission, he'll have to give up his flight status. No more Tomcats. And I'm not so arrogant that I think I can single handedly give him the same thrill to compensate. Though I can't wait to find out. But clearly that's beside the point. Harm just needs the high every pilot needs and I can see the benefit of keeping Harm in dress whites as a bonus, the icing on the already very delicious cake.

On the other hand, I know he won't let me give up either. Conditions and personal mistakes set aside, I've come this far and yes, as a Marine, I'm proud of the faith people seem to have installed in me, including Harm. It warms my heart to know that he thinks so highly of my capabilities, even when sometimes I don't see them myself. It's a good feeling to know that I'm not just a pretty accessory to him (although, in this dress…). I mean, I've been there, done that and it's definitely not my thing.

If we're gonna argue about this, it might take hours, considering the fact we both know very well how to go up against the other. Neither of us will give in easily. Heck, we could end up blowing off our entire engagement when the heat rises.

And I haven't even formulated my biggest fear: what if one of us finally does give in and consequently ends his or her career, will that one at some point regret the decision and take it out on the other one who got his or her way? In the long run, the resentment could end our relationship and I'll be damned if I ever let that happen.

So instead of fighting over it, dissecting it to pieces like I always seem to do, we're gonna let fate decide. Stupid as it might sound, we're about to let a flip of a coin rule about our future. But it's the only way we can decide this quickly without me feeling responsible for the end of Harm's glorious rise on the Naval ladder and without Harm's chivalrous attempts to clear the way for my goals as a Marine.

Before I went home to change we made two important phone calls: Mattie was elated at the thought of having not just one, but two parents waiting for her to join them wherever. I'm quickly warming up to the idea of having a teenage daughter. And as for Bud? He was thrilled to do the honors of kick-starting our future together. And please don't make me mention the "It's about time" comment I could hear coming from Harriet. It was heartwarming to find out how happy our closest friends were for us.

I know only one thing: I'm notnervous. I made my decision: I'll be Sarah MacKenzie-Rabb no matter what. That coin can send us to either London or San Diego, but it might as well send us to Mars for all I care.

For someone who just tried to convince herself she's not nervous, I'm not doing too well. Lots of tiny butterflies are doing summersaults in my stomach and I have to reapply my lipstick twice before my shaking hands can manage to actually paint my lips instead of my cheeks and chin. Not that they won't get smudged later this evening…

But it's not my career or the possible end of it that makes me feel woozy, it's the realization that starting today, I will never have to hide my feelings again. That tonight the whole world can know the story about Harm and Sarah,how they finally found each other, and how they will stay together forever.

No matter which side the coin lands on.


	4. Chapter 4

**Five thousand four hundred and eighty nine**

Disclaimer: Did I mention I don't own them? Probably couldn't afford them either?

AN: She's baaaack. And in a happy mood too. So here's an update for you to enjoy and review...hint ;-)

_Chapter IV: Harm's POV_

The first thing Joanne, the bartender at McMurphy's noticed when I strode in is the grin on my face. I didn't realize it was so clear. But I can't help myself when I think of how it got there in the first place. It's so amazing that it still takes my breath away. This huge smile was put there a few hours ago by a certain beautiful Marine, who's finally mine. Even if I don't have a ring to give her yet, we're not backing out this time. Took us long enough to get here. Let me rephrase that: it took one JAG General, a promotion and not to mention the ultimate threat to place each of us half a world away from the other to get here. But let's not rehash, let's just be glad we're here. I know I am.

We invited our coworkers over here for a few drinks. With the exception of Bud and Harriet (the latter seemingly more excited than we are), the others think this is just a farewell party before we all go our separate ways. In some ways it is and I know I'll miss them, maybe with the exception of Jen, who'll be coming with us, in case we end up in San Diego. Little do they know Mac might not. Little do they know about what we're about to tell them: that we're in love and about to get hitched. O, who am I kidding here; they knew we were meant to be before we did. But they'll be thrilled anyway.

I look down at my class A uniform, realizing with shock that this might be the last time I get to wear it. If tonight, fate decides in Mac's favor. We need Bud to do the honors. We figured he'd be excellent for this particular task as he's close to the both of us. So he should be unbiased.

It might come off as strange to anybody who doesn't know us, but it's truly the only way. Mac won't allow me to be a gentleman and give up everything to be by her side. Not again anyway. I've been there before, I've done it before and just when she's ready to appreciate it, she won't let me. Go figure. So hero Harm to the rescue won't cut it this time.

On the other hand, I'll be damned before I let her become just another devoted housewife whose life revolves around the steady rise in rank of her husband. As much as I need her by my side whenever, wherever and whatever, I don't need her just for decoration. If that was ever my goal, I should have married Renée years ago.

As for Mac; I can see the quality she has as an officer and a lawyer and it would be a mortal sin to have her throw it all away. So if she won't defend case, than I will. Hell, I love the Marine in Sarah. It gives her an extra dimension other women seriously lack.

We truly need that coin to decide…

As I look up from my beer she strides in. Sarah, sweetheart what were you thinking? Do you really want me to manhandle you in the middle of this very public place, where our mutual friends can come join us any time? That'll be some serious conduct unbecoming an officer (or two for the time being), but that's what can be expected when your soon to be wife is wearing a dress like that.

I swallow and manage with all my willpower to just satisfy myself with one glance and a sweet kiss (I can kiss Sarah MacKenzie in public!), before ordering her a drink. And only the thought that we'll be alone in a hotel room in a few hours can prevent me from taking it further.

Quickly after that, our friends join us. As we fill them in on the latest news, they all seem elated. Though I can clearly see the knowing glances, the words 'I told you so' hanging in the air. It's highly amusing and not to mention, very right. We kept them and ourselves in suspense way too long! In fact, wouldn't be at all surprised if they've set up a 'will they or won't they' office pool considering us. I'm curious who won, but my guess is Harriet.

So now the time has come. I have Mac secured in my arms, the thought that I'll have her there for the rest of my life sustaining me while Bud takes out the coin the Admiral gave him when he retired. I smile down at Mac and hug her to me. She puts her head against my chest and I can feel a welcome warmth envelope me.

I hope she realizes that I'm okay with whatever happens next. No matter which way the coin might drop, I'm ready.

Still, as I can hear her say 'tails', I hold my breath…

_Hahaha, and so will you until I update... (evil grin). You know what to do if you want to speed things up..._


	5. Chapter 5

**AN**: I hope the date of today doesn't mean you won't like the wayI decided this story should develop. Love to hear from you!

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing. Only in my dreams people...

_Chapter 5: Mac's POV_

And heads it was. For one very tiny, maybe even imagined moment, I felt myself stiffen, seeing my life as I knew it disappear. But, true to my promise, I let Harm pull me to his chest in a warm hug before kissing me flat out, causing chills to course through me and cheers from our audience.

He never uttered a word of comfort, knowing it would diminish the decision as it was made. He only called Mattie to let her know that the outcome would be London and to turn to Jen, asking her if she still felt like moving, to be his assistant. She agreed, probably mainly because of Mattie. Soon, people were congratulating her on her move. If I hadn't been just a little sad about the abrupt ending of my career, I would have been ecstatic.

But the transfer came through and we both settled in. Into our marriage, our family and our home. And into our jobs. Mine is exhilarating to say the least and I'm thoroughly enjoying every minute of it.

Let me just tell you how it came to happen.

The day after we had our impromptu engagement party, I was summoned to the General's office and was happy to find A.J. Chegwidden there, together with a third man I didn't know. He was introduced as Mr. Leo Stellman. He was an old friend of the former Admiral and a representative for Unicef.

And he needed me. Unicef, so he told me, often got to 'borrow' military staff from all the United Nations to help with distribution and safety problems in area's all over the world. They were in dire need for a military spokesman or woman to coordinate these projects. This person should be able to speak various different languages, know national and international military laws and conducts and be used to public speaking. And look who they had in mind? My love for children and the fact that I was about to adopt my own child made my little person, according to them 'perfectly cut for the job'. As a bonus, this job is both qualified for military and civilian personnel, so the choicewas on me if I'd rather stay in the military system. And I do. So…I'm still in uniform, a full bird Colonel's uniform at that! Sure, my flyboy is my senior now, but I'm willing to overlook that hitch.

The day before he had to report for his new duty, we proudly showed each other our uniforms, complete with bars and birds, as if we've never seen the other one wear it before. But I liked it anyway. Nothing can ever be as gorgeous to me as my flyboy in dress whites. Except maybe for my flyboy without dress whites, without dress…anything. Oops…wrong train of thoughts for the office, Colonel MacKenzie. Just a few more hours of hard labor before I can be doting Sarah Rabb once more; a role that fits me better than I could have imagined. Does that sound strange? I mean, of course it does, but I truly wasn't prepared for the depth of my feelings for Harm. For the rush I feel when it's time to go home, for the turmoil he can cause in my heart whenever he's around, not even doing anything in particular, for the whirlpool he creates in my body whenever we make love, for the utter peace that surrounds me when I'm curled up in his arms. Did I mention I love this man?

By the way, it's become clearly obvious that I'm not the only one who can thoroughly appreciate Harm in uniform, or Harm as a lawyer. Or just Harm being Harm. As scuttlebutt tells me, he has the entire female population in his new office hanging onto every word he utters as if they were hypnotized. I have to say: can't blame them, theyare more right about his 'performance' than they will ever know. As I just testified, I know thoroughly well what his 1000 megawatt smile can evoke in the core of every breathing female (and some males, no doubt). Boy, could I make them jealous! At east I know I don't have to feel threatened… so I don't.

No really, it's a given that Harm is clueless when it comes to his own charm, except maybe in times when he uses it as a very effective weapon to get him out of trouble. Or into it, for that matter. Him and others if memory serves me well. But hey, let's not dwell. The only thing I know without any doubt is that he's totally faithful. So no need to feel bitter or insecure; he'll always comes back to us. Us being me, Mattie and whoever is making it increasingly more difficult for me to button my uniform blouse.

Harm is so protective of me these days, it's enough to make me edgy and swooning at the same time. Whenever I can't decide, I basically do both and blame the tears on my hormones. Which is good enough for Harm. He'll be there for me come hell or high water. A sentiment I return with all my heart.

As I think about everything that has happened, toying with my rings (the flawless wedding band and the engagement ring he gave me the moment we left McMurphy's) I can only come to one definite conclusion: We're happy. The coin landed the right way up for the both of us.

_Only one more chapter to go, from Harm's POV. Then I'm putting this story to rest. Please let me know what you think so far..._


	6. Chapter 6

**AN**: This is it. The last piece of the story. Don't worry though. I have another story, fluffy and sweet, ready to be posted, so I will do that soon. Hope you can appreciate the way I wrapped things up and I thank all of you for reading and reviewing.

**Disclaimer**: I must have mentioned this before, but just in case...don't own them. Too bad.

Onwith it.

_Harm's POV_

So here we are. In our new home, decorated with love, care and a warmth only a female touch can provide. And with the tremendous pile of junk only a female teenager can provide. We gave Mattie the largest bedroom, acknowledging her need for privacy while she adjusts to her new surroundings. And her new parents. Adoption papers were finalized only weeks ago and while we're all glad she's here for the duration, we still have to settle in to family routine. I know we'll make it though.

I yawn and stretch in my study overlooking the skyline of our new home town, including the Tower Bridge. Yes, the coin landed heads up, which meant we all packed for London. All of us being me, Mac, Mattie and Jen (glad she came along).

I don't miss the America any more…and neither does Mac. We've established our own way of celebrating the typical American holidays and we're always welcome at the embassy. Or at London's Unicef headquarters where Colonel Sarah MacKenzie-Rabb usually resides.

Truly, I can't tell which one of us was more happy with this new challenge for my Marine. Like I said before, I would have done anything to find some way to make sure her life wouldn't be just about our marriage. And yes, if it hadn't been for this unique chance, that would have been a very hard task.

Civilian life would have been very difficult to handle, especially when your uniform has become second skin to you over the years. And then I'm not even considering the fact that she's way too damn smart and to let that go to waste would be a mortal sin.

She wouldn't have been able to land a civilian lawyer job though, since none of her diploma's or degrees have any value here in Europe.

No, this way we are both satisfied. And thankfully she doesn't let me gloat over my seniority too much. There's no doubt in my mind who's the outranking officer in the MacKenzie-Rabb household. I tend to consider myself lucky if I come second to the dog we got Mattie as a gift. No kidding, that little mutt is putting up one hell of a fight when it comes down to which one of us gets to sleep next to my wife. As long as I win nine out of ten times, I'm okay. I know which buttons to push (or pull open) to get to the soft side of the tough Colonel. The ones on both our uniforms usually work.

I distinctly recall the time she showed me her newly tailored uniform, fitting her rank. Just as proudly as I stood in front of her showing her mine. Ha, I always suspected she was a sucker for me in my dress whites and let me tell you, after minutes of just staring (or ogling), we didn't push or pull any buttons, we simply ripped them off. And consequently had to make another trip to the tailor shop the next day. Wonder what the girl behind the counter was thinking…she did give us a rather amused look…

Come to think of it; her uniform will need even more tailoring in the near future. She already has to leave the lower buttons of the blouse open and in a few more weeks she won't fit into the skirt any longer either. She doesn't care, she's way too happy. And so am I. To me, she has never looked more beautiful, especially knowing how very extraordinary this naturally conceived pregnancy is.

And I'll have you know that I'm watching her like a hawk, making sure she eats healthy, rubbing her feet, prying her hands away from the coffee-pot (she'll probably just have another extra strong cup at the office) and gently tucking her next to me when we go to sleep. I mean, she can act lean, mean tough Marine any time at work or at home (remind me not to pull rank if I want to pull any uniform buttons later at night), as long as she knows she's first and foremost my gorgeous pregnant wife and I therefore have every right to become an overprotective, possessive daddy-to-be. Sometimes it makes her skittish, but mostly she seems touched by my actions, enough so to indulge me.

So here we are. Married, employed, upgraded, parents and parents-to-be. And more happy than I ever thought I could be or even deserved to be. Thanks to the coin that would have landed the right side up no matter what.

THE END


End file.
